There does need to be effective communication during lovemaking or how else would your partner know what you like or don’t like. However, it does not need to be a constant barrage of “No, don’t do that,” or, “Do this, not that”, or “What the heck was that?” Over time, you learn from your partner the non-verbal clues they send out for what they like. It may be somewhat harder to learn what they don’t like unless you are communicating effectively. Some people seem to think that their partner must be so in tune with them, that they should automatically know what they like and don’t like. Almost mind reading, if you will. Since no one is capable of reading another person’s mind, then you and your partner need to decide how you are going to communicate to the other what you like and don’t like during love making. It can be subtle sounds one makes that lets the other person know you are enjoying what they are doing. If what they are doing is not so enjoyable, then how do you convey that to them? One way is to show them what you like. You could agree to try this technique during a lovemaking session. Tell your partner that you are going to show them what you like done to you. Then proceed to do to them what you would like to have them do to you. Of course, with different equipment, you may have to improvise a little, but that can be fun, too. During that time, you can gently tell them if you have a particular turn off that they do all the time, and demonstrate what it is and why you don’t like it. It may be much better received during this type of activity than if you just blurt it out while he/she is performing that activity on you at the time. They may then understand a little better why you don’t particularly care for that if you are demonstrating at the moment. You can then offer an alternative that you would prefer, and give a demonstration. If you are making love and your partner tries something new for the first time and it is just something you absolutely hate, then don’t wait. Let them know right away that it was something you did not care for, but gently. Don’t squirm away in disgust and make them feel awkward. Just simply ask them to stop, and tell them it is something you don’t really care for. Most people will move on to something else rather quickly, and you can talk about why you did not care for that activity when you are cuddling in the afterglow, and perhaps suggest an alternative. The most important thing to remember is that your lover cannot read your mind. You have to let them know your likes and dislikes, either verbally, or nonverbally. Most people are pretty adept at picking up nonverbal clues, and you can move on. If not, then you will have to say something, or use the demonstration technique described. But don’t make the mistake of hoping it will get better on its own. It won’t unless you do something about it, you and your partner, together. After all, good communication increases the intimacy, and will result in heart stopping love making for both of you. Category:Home › Other • Pomegranates: A newly discovered superfood • Where did the joke why did the chicken cross the road come from and why is it funny? • Can mothers diagnosed with bipolar disorder make good parents? • Spiritual evolution of human consciousness • Tips for getting a college basketball scholarship • Living with Pseudotumor cerebri (PTC) • Caring for the caregiver • Technologys impact on society
Effective Communication During Love
